People who begin practically every sentence or question with the word, "So." Even some broadcasters who know better are doing it. One day I heard an NPR anchor and the person he was interviewing start three consecutive questions and answers with the word, "So." That's ridiculous. "So" is the new "Like," and used only by verbally-challenged people who obviously have no mastery of the English language.
People who post rants on the Internet who don't know the difference between "they're" and "their."
Similar dolts who use "loose," when they mean "lose."
Drivers who never figured out why the turn signal was invented. And how about those who don't know that headlights were invented to not only see where you're going, but to let others know you're coming. Don't you just love it at dawn and dusk when a vehicle suddenly appears out of nowhere because the idiot behind the wheel doesn't have his/her lights on? Brilliant! (And dangerous! Look twice.)
Motorists who ride around with only one headlight, or burned out brake and tail lights, or even worse...all three! Those one-eyed monsters come barreling toward you on a foggy night and you don't know whether you're facing a car, a truck, or a motorcycle, or if it's IN YOUR LANE! In one recent four-month period, I counted at least 140 one-eyed monsters driving around. That's 35 a month! It's an epidemic, it's dangerous, and it's illegal! Where the hell are the cops?
Loud mufflers. HELLO! It's three o'clock in the morning! In case you haven't heard, Midas sells mufflers! And they're not all that expensive. Hell, there's a guy named Boo who runs a welding shop in my town, who will put a good quality muffler on your vehicle for a hundred bucks, just to bring in business! I mean, who can't afford $100? It's the least you could do to give everyone else a better night's sleep.
Asshole cops. I had a local-yokel follow me all the way home one day and pull me over IN MY DRIVEWAY! He said I didn't put on my seatbelt until he pulled up beside me at a red light a mile earlier. Truth was, I had just re-entered my truck and was buckling the belt when he just happened to pull up beside me. I was ALREADY IN THE PROCESS of buckling, before he showed up, not BECAUSE he showed up! Jerk gave me a ticket, anyway. He should have given me an award for being a conscientious citizen who ALWAYS buckles up. His time would have been better spent looking for one-eyed vehicles with blown-out mufflers.
People, especially Kentuckians who live in the Horse Capital of the World, who say "chomping at the bit." The horse is NOT chomping AT the bit, damn it! The correct expression is "champing the bit." Look it up! Lazy journalists are mostly to blame for perpetuating this grammatical abomination. Hell, I grew up in Georgia, which is not famous for horses, and I know better! Here's proper usage: The race horse was impatiently champing the bit as he was led to the starting gate. Or: The politician was champing the bit to add his name to the ballot. I have no idea how 'champing' devolved into 'chomping,' but it's incorrect and 'chomping AT' sounds coarse and vulgar.
Check back. I'm just getting warmed up!
...Now The Raves
Why I Absolutely, Positively Love Kentucky...
Because it's a commonwealth. The Commonwealth of Kentucky. It used to be part of the Commonwealth of Virginia. States and commonwealths are pretty much the same in America. Commonwealth just sounds cooler. The best tourist slogan ever created for the state was, 'The UnCommonwealth of Kentucky.' Gov. Martha Layne Collins' administration came up with that one. She was the state's first, and so far only, female governor. And a damn good governor at that. She was instrumental in luring Toyota Manufacturing Inc. to the state.
The climate. Kentucky has four distinct seasons: Winter, Spring, Summer and Fall. The best are Spring, when the redbuds and forsythia bloom, and thoroughbred foals frolic in the bluegrass pastures - and Fall, when the leaves on the hardwoods boast their colorful displays and cooler temperatures prevail. Summers can be hot and humid, but nothing like the swamps of my native Southeast Georgia. Now THAT, my friends, is hot and humid! Kentucky winters are usually reasonable, with maybe two or three snowfalls that don't stick around too long. And since it never snowed where I grew up, I LOVE snow. It's so beautiful, and muffles sound, so everything gets real quiet. Magical!
The horse farms and thoroughbreds. Living in central Kentucky is like living in the middle of a national park. The wealthy horse farm owners keep their huge properties immaculately manicured and prevent thousands of acres of prime bluegrass from the rapacious hands of developers, who would pave over the entire state if given half a chance. Central Kentucky looks much like rural England, with rolling, verdant hills, lined with ancient stone fences hand-stacked by Scot-Irish stone masons. If you're so inclined, many of the horse farms offer tours, but just driving around the single-lane paved roads that wind through the emerald horse country is well worth your time.
The Red River Gorge. Can't say enough about it. Just go. And take a hike. It's incredible. Saved from destruction in the 1970's by US Supreme Court Justice William O. Douglas, who convinced his colleagues to block a proposed dam project that would have ruined it. A key trail in the gorge is named for Douglas. Kentucky Gov. Julian Carroll was for the dam, before he was against it. I've spent 30 years of my life exploring this majestically beautiful, diverse ecosystem and will continue doing so until the day I die. Truly, one of the most awesome places on the planet, and yes, I've been to the Grand Canyon. And the Louvre.
Limited billboards. Plenty exist, but not like the 'gazillions' lining I-95 and I-75 in my native Georgia. Kentuckians have done a pretty good job of protecting their incredible, rural landscapes, by limiting billboards outside the major cities, and making sure the ones along the interstates are at least 660 feet from the road bed. But you better get here soon, because the billboard industry tries EVERY YEAR to strong arm the Kentucky general assembly into watering down current billboard restrictions, in hopes of spreading even more 'litter on a stick' across the beautiful commonwealth.
The history. United States President Abraham Lincoln, who freed the slaves and saved the Union was born here. So was Jefferson Davis, president of the Confederate States of America. They grew up about 100 miles apart. How's that for historical irony. Daniel Boone explored, hunted, surveyed, raised and lost children, traded with and fought Indians, in Kentucky. He died in Missouri, but is buried in the Frankfort Cemetery, alongside his wife Rebecca. Lewis and Clark began their exploratory journey West from Louisville. Frontier legend Kit Carson is a Kentuckian. So is Jim Bowie, of The Alamo and Bowie Knife fame. Frontier marksmen, and women, were armed with Kentucky long rifles. The state literally reeks with fascinating American history, and it's beautiful, to boot!
The Music.Bill Monroe, the Father of Bluegrass Music, is a Kentuckian. He was born in Rosine, in western Kentucky, and named his group The Bluegrass Boys, after the Bluegrass State. Don Everly of the Everly Brothers was born in nearby Central City. Merle Travis, Jackie DeShannon, The Judds, Loretta Lynn, Crystal Gayle, Keith Whitley, Sam Bush (New Grass Revival), Steve Fergusen (NRBQ), Dwight Yoakam, Ricky Skaggs, Kentucky Headhunters, Rosemary Clooney, J.D. Crowe, Billy Ray Cyrus, Skeeter Davis, Exile, Lionel Hampton, Lily Mae Ledford, Patty Loveless, Tom. T. Hall, John Michael Montgomery, My Morning Jacket, Jean Ritchie, Sturgill Simpson, Chris Stapleton - all Kentuckians. Too many artists to mention them all. It's just a very musicial state, to say the least, with roots in Appalachian folk, brought to America by Scottish and Irish immigrants who settled in Appalachia. On just about any Saturday night, somewhere in Kentucky, music is spilling out of barns, sheds and venues, with enthusiastic listeners patting their feet and clapping their hands. More Rants and Raves to come. Stay tuned!
All Photos by Tony McVeigh. Contents Copyright 2024. All Rights Reserved
